"You gonna murder my career, you better get one"

damn eminem!

The new King of Pop...naaaah!!!

"You know everyone loves and respects Michael but times change. It's so sad to see Michael gone but it makes a path for a new King of Pop and I'm willing to take that on," - Kanye West

I mean Kanye is "that dude" right now, but until you can ask some kid in the Congo who Kanye West is and he knows, i doubt it.

Greg Rutter's Definitive List of The 99 Things You Should Have Already Experienced On The Internet Unless You're a Loser or Old or Somethin

01) Grape Stomp
02) Charlie Bit Me
03) Chocolate Rain
04) Dancing Baby
05) Post Secret
06) Charlie The Unicorn
07) Mentos and Diet Coke
08) Numa Numa
09) Peanut Butter Jelly Time
10) George Lucas In Love
11) You're The Man Now Dog
12) Yatta
13) Star Wars Kid
14) Bubb Rubb
15) The Flying Spaghetti Monster
16) Dramatic Chipmunk
17) Homestar Runner
18) GI Joe Pork Chop Sandwiches
19) Fail Blog
20) Skateboarding Dog
21) All Your Base Are Belong To Us
22) Winnebago Man
23) We Like The Moon
24) I Can Has Cheezburger
25) Barney Vs. Tupac
26) Shining
27) Cute Overload
28) Rick Roll
29) Lazy Sunday
30) David After The Dentist
31) Powerthirst
32) Christian The Lion
33) Bert and Ernie Rap
34) Lady Punch
35) Leprechaun in Alabama
36) Where The Hell Is Matt
37) Boom Goes The Dynamite
38) Breakdancing Baby
39) Drunk Jeff Goldblum
40) Scarlet Takes A Tumble
41) Susan Boyle
42) Gay Mount Everest
43) Afro Ninja
44) Cop Shoots Himself In Leg In Classroom
45) Tron Guy
46) "Leave Britney Alone"
47) Laughing Baby
48) I'm the Juggernaut Bitch
49) Exploding Whale
50) Take On Me The Literal Version
51) Bill O'Reilly Flips Out
52) Don't Tase Me Bro
53) The Landlord
54) Breakdancing Baby Kick
55) The Pet Penguin
56) Ms. South Carolina Answers A Question
57) I'm F*#king Matt Damon
58) Will It Blend
59) Spaghetti Cat
60) Tom Cruise Kills Oprah
61) Little Superstar
62) Chad Vader
63) Pretty Much Everywhere It's Going To Be Hot
64) I Like Turtles
65) Who Needs A Movie
66) Jake E. Lee Shreds
67) Hawaii Chair
68) Aussie Party
69) Hitler Plans Burning Man
70) Montgomery Flea Market
71) Look At The Horse
72) Asian Backstreet Boys
73) Leroy Jenkins
74) Pinky The Cat
75) Monkey Sniffs Finger
76) Sneezing Panda
77) Prison Inmates remake "Thriller"
78) Techno Viking
79) Ask A Ninja
80) Best Man Trips and Ruins Wedding
81) Best Wedding Toast Ever (Amy's Song)
82) Kitten Surprise (how to break up a cat fight)
83) Katana Sword Infomercial Goes Wrong
84) Matrix Ping Pong
85) La Pequena Prohibida
86) Angry German Kid (translated)
87) Evolution of Dance
88) Ok Go "Here It Goes Again"
89) Battle at Kruger (lions vs. buffalos vs. crocodiles)
90) Daft Hands
91) Human Beatbox
92) Most T-Shirts Worn At Once
93) Zero G Dog
94) Cuppy Cakes Song
95) George Washington
96) Scary Maze Prank
97) Gay Referee
98) Tranquilized Bear Hits Trampoline
99) Reporter Gets A Fly In The Mouth

gee i've got some catching up to do =/

cupcakes.

MMMMMMM!

old men get it too.

Homemade Choco Syrup

½ cup cocoa powder
1 cup water
2 cups sugar
⅛ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon vanilla

Mix the cocoa and the water in a saucepan. Heat and stir to dissolve the cocoa. Add the sugar, and stir to dissolve. Boil for 3 minutes over medium heat. Add the salt and the vanilla. Let cool. Pour into a sterile glass jar, and store in the refrigerator. Keeps for several months. Yields two cups.

drank has been replaced.

Slow Cow is the exact opposite of the energy drinks that cause hyperactivity, anxiety and the jitters. The anti-energy drink contains ingredients like theanine, chamomile, valerian, passiflora and other ingredients known for their calming effects. Slow Cow promises to help people destress and relax, while increasing mental awareness at the same time.

EXTRACTED FROM INVENTORSPOT.COM

Its a nice day for a white wedding

lol this shit is tight i mean the whole "serious wedding" is played out.

Joke of the day.

Q:
Why does nobody know how to please a woman?

A:
Because nobody has a dick made of chocolate which ejaculates money.

ATTENTION LADIES!

A woman at a nightclub on Saturday night was taken by 5 men, who according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes and along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood, was Progesterex, which is essentially a small sterilization pill. The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Rumor has it that Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug. As with rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before. Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later. The drug's effects ARE NOT TEMPORARY- They are P*E*R*M*A*N*E*N*T! Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses. Any female who takes it WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE. The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university. It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it. Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls. Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended. Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know... Guys, please inform all your female friends and relatives. PLEASE PASS THIS ON!

pwned.

fail.

Marky.

This is my boy Marcus Plater better known as Marky. i remember the first time I saw him perform back in like... 2002 at Unifest in southeast. And now I look at him like.. he's makin it.. and I'm really proud. But what i'm proud of most is, he kept God first and isn't lettin the publicity get to him. He is still down to earth and I mean he offered me some real good advice about like goin for your dreams and what not. ANYWAY, here's his newest track.

Marky - The Antidote

Also check out his blog http://markdefspeaks.blogspot.com

LEAVE MICHAEL ALONE!

They're still goin!

HARPO Says “NO” to Michael Jackson & Hell No to Chris Brown

My source says:

After speaking with one of my good friends that works with her, they told me as of now she has not and WILL NOT be promoting Michael Jackson because of the past child molestation charges brought against him. I was telling them that MJ was the King of Pop and they went on to say: “Cool, but we all know that he he also had other things going on … and people tend to forget the things that matter.”

According to my source, Oprah “does not cover people who hurt children” and said “why give them shine on our show, we never have and never will.”

Michael Jackson’s Alleged Son Can Dance and Rap!?
Esp at 6:45

internet porn ain't gettin it no more

|.:digitalclass:.|

Some of you know some of you don't. But I have a lil photo editing co on the side.

[gotta hustle somehow]

I do pictures but I also take submissions of your own pictures and edit them for you.
Anyway, I'm not tryina solicit on ECP so i'm cut that short.

I wanna introduce you to the new face of |.:digitalclass:.|

Her name is Khloe Davonne.
She's reigns from Houston, Texas.

Visit http://YourDigitalClass.Com For More.

dear family.

Since no one wants to fess up and tell me what I allegedly wrote about my mother on FaceBook I am messaging all of you.

I am pissed.

I have asked multiple times for people to not go to my mother about things that concern her and I because that angers her. She is jealous of my grand parents and when she finds out that they know something about me that she doesn't she gets mad. But I don't tell her things. My mother is in denial that she has done any wrong to me and therefore believes our relationship is peachy keen.

LEAVE IT THAT WAY.

It will be better for ALL of us. Don't you guys see? While you're out trying to mend old wounds and being GOSSIP-HAPPY the only one you are affecting is ME, and in a NEGATIVE way.

I moved out for a reason.
I am still in Boston for a reason.
NONE of you have had to live with her, under her, and wouldn't understand what I go through.

HOWEVER, that doesn't mean try to intervene.

There's nothing you need to see or hear for yourself... me asking you to STOP should be enough.

If you thought something I wrote on my FaceBook was inappropriate or blasphemous towards her YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME! Not cousin so and so, who told aunt so and so, who eventually told my grandma, who told my mother...

Don't you see how ALL of this could have been avoided?
Leave her alone.
She is stuck in her ways, leave her that way.

You can't change anyone who doesn't want to be changed.

Showing her what I think of her is not going to do anything.

You have tried before... to change her. Obviously, it is NOT going to work.
Repeated failure should have been enough to get all of you to give up.

Lemme ask you this...
What did you expect?
What were you trying to prove?
Do you just like hearing yourself speak?
Did you do this for fun?

Learn to knit.

Making Jasmin's life miserable is NOT a hobby.

And if you guys wanna continue to have this mother-daughter war of repressed emotions from childhood, BE MY GUEST but LEAVE ME OUT OF IT. Stop using me and what I say/do as AMMO.

Everyone always says they are just trying to help. But your helping is just hurting.
So take my plea, and stop trying to mend a relationship that is already broken beyond repair.

is solange desperate for attention or...

SHE SHAVED HER HEAD?!?!?

if i jiggered my way into the white house i'd be shot.

LOL

My supervisor just said:
"I can't imagine the day I walk into the drug store and their breakin up marijuana at the counter.. Like, "Can I have that rolled please?"

it's times like these you wanna hustle.

MAN! I AM -SO- BROKE!!
I am working full time, I am not paying rent yet I am -still- broke.
I have a 1500 debt to pay the IRS thanks to my mother and I keep thinking that I'm broke because I've been saving for that.. But... I don't even have a lot saved!
Where the hell is my money going?
I'll tell you.
Food!, Groceries, Liquor, SixFlags, Gas, the T.
A 20 here, a 20 there
(and once you break a 20 its GONE)

I just remember the days when EggDonor was hustling..
Going to NY every weekend buyin bootleg handbags off Canal St to sell..
pushin the Escalade..
she used to put fruit snacks in my lunch and get me lunchables mannn
THOSE WERE THE DAYS
and its times like these..
when i'm naked and hungry
that i think to myself
I SHOULD HUSTLE
-SOMETHIN-

I shud sell...
Local weed man doin real good right about now shit... urrybady all depressed off this recession they smokin they lives away..
Now I see why people strip, gogo dance, model nude, etc.
TIMES ARE SO ROUGH. AGH.

I just wanted to share this wit yall.

camouflage photography.

I don't understand this one

Can’t Find the Weed Man? Just Use Your iPhone

The new app lets users search by city for their nearest medical cannabis suppliers, doctors, clinics, lawyers and other relevant organizations.

It currently covers 13 US states which have passed laws allowing medical cannabis use, legal cannabis “coffee shops” across Europe and uses Google Maps for directions.

make ya scream OTTAWA

whats wrong with this picture?

teyana, why?

i officially take back what i said about teyana being the next l-boogie. what was i thinking? Lauryn has class.

this is gonna sound so wrong.

i hate when i see a couple in public and the first thing i think is, "damn, he/she could do better"...



Christina Millian has always been one of my favs to look at... and The-Dream never has been someone I wanted to look at... Damn, Christina.

Raven Symone + Gay Boy Sperm = Baby Girl

This dude up top with Raven Symone is supposedly Jurnee Smollet’s gay brother, Jussie Smollet. Well, we received a tip stating that he donated his sperm to his best friend Raven and she NOW has a baby girl.


Lilliana Pearman

???

just something to make you smiile...

something about the lady in the pink and the guy in the black had me CRACKIN up.
esp at 5:07.

i want these so bad.

Apology?

I think it sounds scripted & rehearsed.
What do y'all think?

dear mom,

i already know how this is gonna sound and i already know what you're gonna say about it. you think i'm going through a phase. you think something is wrong with me. you think i'm trying to do too much and that i can't stay still for one minute. i mean, i can't even blame you for thinking that way. last time i told you about someone special he was a gay man and now it's a woman. and then on top of that you think that the entire idea of me transferring was spur of the moment. i can see how you think i'm being impulsive but i'm really not.
maybe if you called sometimes and didn't bitch at me you would know these things. maybe if you paid attention to something other than my flaws you would see that these changes have all been gradual. if you had been a mother instead of acting like a teenage girl maybe you could have and would have been there like you should have.
instead of coming at my neck about what i look like on the outside you could have discovered so much about me on the inside. have you ever even heard me sing? you were late to every play, dance concert, even graduation and then you tell me you believe in me.. how can you say that if you've never seen what i can do?
shit, maybe if you stopped smoking so much you would be able to remember a thing or two. look at you look at you. you're gonna be so mad in the end. mad you missed out mad you weren't a part of it. you were so close yet so far.
see, i can say all this same shit to my father couldn't i. i'm not making any excuses for him but at least he was separated from me by states. you were right there. a door over. yet still absent.

sincerely,
me.

I'm really aggravated.

My suit mates boyfriend sent me a message on facebook chat this morning... while i was at work... and this is what it said.

E
Hey Jaz hope im not bugging u at wrk or anything, but if possible can you start assisting with taking out the trash as well. normally its fine me or *her* just do it. But we went out of twn this weekend but wen we got back it had bugs in it and everything. Not sure what cuased that. But i know you were back b4 we were and could have dumped it real quick.
this is all from me, not trynna cuase beef between you and *her* so if u take any offense this is from me not her

Me
i actually dumped what i could
i cant carry that big thing out by myself
and i also was only home for 5mins and left right after that

E
oh ok im not trynna cuase problems but the bugs were disgusting and i kno none of us want that in the dorm

Me
but i did take out what i could

E
ok thats cool

This conversation pisses me the fuck off. This woman and her boyfriend ALWAYS have something to say. And I do my part in living with her.

Lemme give y'all some examples.

"here we go yo, here we go yo, so what's so what's the scenario"

Scenario1:

When we first moved in, she knew I didn't have any pots and pans and she said I could use ANY of her things ANYTIME.
Knowing that sometimes ppl say stuff they don't mean... I didn't use any of them for a while.. like.. two weeks in..
I used her pan to make some eggs one saturday morning... i washed it and put it in the sink because I thought she ran the dishwasher...
THIS CHICK COMES TO ME LATER THAT DAY LIKE... DO YOU MIND ATLEAST RINSING OUT THE PAN YOU USED BECAUSE IT'S MY BOYFRIENDS AND HE IS REALLY PARTICULAR ABOUT HIS STUFF..
like, Bitch did you not see that the pan was clean? YOU didn't tell me your boyfriend had his pots and pans there too!
WELL IF YOU HAD RINSED IT YOU COULD HAVE JUST PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER
Well, I thought you said you were running it today..
IF ITS LOCKED THEIR CLEAN IF IT'S UNLOCKED THEIR STILL DIRTY.
You are not my mother.
...damn!
I wanted to blog this the MINUTE it happened but I didn't because I was afraid she would read it but at this point. idc.

Scenario2:

Sooo she and I were talking about how we should have a party.. And we're both like yeah yeah we have all this space etc... something small.. yadda yah... I suggested a weekend and then she told me she'd be out of town but that I should def still do it..
SO I DID...
I put 'DO NOT ENTER' signs on both of her doors and monitored the doors.. I told everyone NOTHING in the fridge was mine and the only thing they were pullin out was liquor!
Monday I walked to my room to a 'note' on my door
(Yes, yes y'all she took it back to seventh grade. I still have the note too!)
It was saying I APPRECIATE THE SIGNS ON THE DOOR BUT SOME OF MY STUFF WAS STILL TAMPERED WITH COULD YOU JUST WATCH YOUR FRIENDS A LITTLE MORE CLOSELY.
Tell me what was tampered with and I'll handle it.
NEVER RESPONDED.
do you just like hearing yourself??? write me a note when there's a real problem!

Scenario3:

And now this, Both of us were out of town this weekend.
THEY left AFTER me.
THEY could have taken out the pile of trash.
NOTHING has been added to the trash this weekend, it is the same pile of junk that was there friday
BEFORE THEY LEFT.
And whats crazy about this is...
I DID get back before them,
I DID notice that there was a lot of trash,
AND I TOOK WHAT I COULD OUT.
I couldnt carry the big ass recycling bin out by myself!
But I took out the paper bags and dumped the actual trash can.
So DONT come at me about this shit when yall could have easily dumped it on friday.
Its like they notice one thing and suddenly I have a generalization above my head. So this is what I said..

Me
i just feel like yall always have something to say

Me
but like my stuff has been moved.. she doesnt clear the microwave back to 0 and stuff like that but i don't say anything abt it
i just put my stuff back or press clear and go about my business
i do take out the trash and this was one time that i couldn't carry that thing out
and it get generalized as if i do it all the time
same with everything else shes said to me
but no worries ill just stay out of yall hair all together and get my own trash bag

E
im sry you feel that way. if we were doing sumthing that was bugging or irratating you. You should have just said sumthing. And like i said this was all from me. So hopefully this doesnt cuase any beef between the two of you. And really i was just letting you know what was happening with the trash and bugs being in there. i dnt think u getting ur own thing is neccesary. Just pointing out i think for the sake of pest nd such we all should attempt to take out the trash more often

I know clearing the time on the microwave is really small but ITS REALLY ANNOYING to think it is 1:35 pm when its really like 4pm because she left a minute and 35 seconds on the microwave! But I didn't say shit.. cuz it's not a big deal!
They moved the TV and the tv stand... never moved it back. I just moved it back. Cuz it's not a big deal.
I vacuum the entire suite, spray febreeze, after she cooks her african food that stinks up the entire place.. but i don't say anything. Cuz it's not a big deal and I can fix it myself..
She took all the space in the freezer... I didn't say anything.. like..
She has her faults too yo..
AND HER BOYFRIEND AIN'T EVEN ALLOWED TO BE THERE!
and he gon talk shit..
ugh. i'm so aggravated.

Can I get some feedback?

just something to make you smiile...

If you’re sitting next to someone on a plane who irritates you, try doing this:

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start it up.
4. Make sure the fellow traveller who is annoying you can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky and move your lips like you are praying.
6. Then click here.

Dear ass hole,

i need to get something off my chest. one of my best friends told me that you dont talk to me anymore bcuz u think im dirty for sleepin with him, that im a weed head and that ive some how changed since you met me. i really think its bull shit that you couldnt tell me this yourself, but i guess you dont care enough to.
quite frankly, youve changed too... youre not the same person i met early may. you used to take me out, we used to have fun and long meaning full talks... or maybe you are the same person i met, maybe we just never got to know eachother enough to really know one another.
honestly, i dont really care that you dont want to talk to me...thats not my damage. but i do have a problem with you judging me. especially since youre in no position to do so. you drink, i smoke... neither is worse than the other. and yes i fucked up, badly, but that doesnt make me dirty. but fuckin hoes so that you dont have to take them out to dinner, is dirty. im not guna judge you tho, cuz i dont pass judgement. everyone has their flaws and i dont appreciate you judging me for mine. today i had a thought, as i tried to figure out what your problem with me really is...this is what dawned on me...
you..and i...both agreed that this relationship wasnt gooing anywhere. so why does it matter so much that i smoke? i dont even smoke that often, 2-3 times a month, max...
but i dont need to explain myself to you. youre a cool person, and i truely didnt expect you to be so judgemental, especially with your background at Christian college...you should know that only God can judge.
since i have tried to contact you on a numerous occasion...all failed attempts...
i really was jus guna keep this all to myself and bite my tounge while not ever contacting you again and trying to pretend that i dont care. but in reality, i did care. i cared enough that i jus HAD to get these things off of my chest. we had good times together... and for you to jus poof and be gone out of thin air, was really random.
i mean, thas all good and shit, cuz i kno youll never read this, but you will know how i feel...one day... karma is a bitch you know.
sincerely,
me

JUST WATCH.

9 reasons why there wasn’t stress in the good old days

1. Bayer's Heroin

between 1890 and 1910, heroin was sold as a ‘less addictive form of morphine’. At some point, it was even recommended to treat the usual cough, but only in children. the Bayer company concluded that it was very effective in treating moderate pains and dealing with diseases such as asthma or tuberculosis, so they branded it as Heroin..

2. Boehringer & Soehne

Boehringer & Soehne were located in Mannheim, Germany. Never heard of them?? Well, if they were doing today what they did about a century ago now, you’d definitely know about them, because they proudly advertised their products, claiming the make the best produts from cocaine and chinine.

3. Opium for newborns

Stickney and Poor’s are known today mostly for spices, but back in the day, they also sold this syrup that helped babies sleep well; and if the opium inside wasn’t enough, then the 46% alcohol would definitely do the trick.

4. Coca wine

Believe it or not, wines with cocaine were by all standards not uncommon. Metcalf Coca Wine was one of the famous brands and everybody who drank it said it will make you happy, and was also good as a medicinal treatment. Maltine Coca Wine was also used a lot in the U.S., especially in New York, where it was made. It was recommended for health reasons - a glass after each meal, and for the children, just a half glass of course.

5. Amphetamine inhalers

Benzedrine (racemic amphetamine) inhalers were available in the U.S. until the mid 50s, and they were so appreciated that even airlines gave them to passengers to treat discomfort when the plane was taking off and landing. It was also proclaimed that more than 10 million Benzedrine inhalers had been distributed in the first 7 years it was released, which means they sold even better than mister McDonald’s hamburgers.

6. Opium for Asthma

It’s not sure how good this treatment was, but at least, the National Vaporizer Vapor-OL (opium) Treatment no. 6 for asthma (as it was called) provided a unique way of smoking opium. You had a pretty volatile liquid that went in a sort of frying pan, heated by a small kerosen lamp placed under the pan.

7. Dragees Antiseptiques Au Menthol

these ‘dragees’ were basically Cocaine throat lozenges. Yeah, cocaine was not only fun, as with the wine but also useful. This Belgian product was “indispensable for singers, teachers, and orators”. Word.

8. Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup

no matter how noisy and restless a child is, 65 miligrams of morphine per fluid ounce does the trick.

9. Cocaine toothache drops

Without a doubt, cocaine is our winner (perhaps there’s a lesson here, somewhere, I’m not sure). These cocaine toothache drops were absolute miracle drugs, and they cured aches almost instantly and they also came with a bonus: after taking them, children were always happier.

PARTIALLY EXTRACTED FROM ZMESCIENCE.COM