lookin' at my Gucci...

..it's about that time

TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING SERIOUS. TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING OF SUBSTANCE. TO STOP BASHING CELEBS, TO STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT MY PROBLEMS, THIS IS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY OBAMA INFATUATION...
AFTER READING A NOT OF MY FRIENDS ON FACEBOOK... I HAVE COME TO TERMS WITH AN INTERNAL BATTLE I'M FACING. THAT I KNOW A LOT OF YOU GUYS ARE FACING TOO... AFTER YOU READ THE NOTE WE'LL DISCUSS IT... BUT AS YOU READ THINK OF IT AS A TIMELINE... LIKE.. A PROCESS THAT HAPPENED WITHIN HIM....

Since I’ve been on Facebook, I’ve seen people write notes on many things. I’ve seen poetry, jokes, songs, conversations about not liking things, girls, guys…etc.
I’ve always wanted to write a note, but never found something worthy of being made public to friends on Facebook. Now I found something that I truly believe should be said by someone on this network. Something that we’ve all been called to advocate; something that our generation seems to have forgotten, or takes for granted. I found the courage in me to give my testimony on what I have truly felt, feel, and hope to feel about God. I want to start off by thanking God that I am here. Here, at this point in life where I can honestly say that I have found Him. Thank Him for taking me out of my tribulations against the evil that has dwelt in me for so long. Thank Him for putting my mind on Him, and not on me.
A year ago, if I were asked if I believed in God I would’ve said yes. Thinking that God was a greater being who wanted love, peace, prosperity, wealth, good health, honesty, charity, the list goes on. But no. I was wrong. I was making up a God for myself because I did not want to face the consequences of my actions, my thoughts, my emotions. I was telling myself that God would love and save me no matter what, even if I lied, even if I stole, even if I committed adultery, even if I refused to follow the path that His son, Jesus, laid down for us to follow. And worst of all, I thought He would love and save me, even if I refused to believe that He was really there.
For the longest time I asked myself if there really was a God. Was it possible? Why couldn’t I see Him? It’s just a story people make up for fun!!!! I was in the deepest of holes, blinded by lies. I started taking psychology and used that to give supporting evidence on why people make up religions. I started reading books, gaining knowledge and I came to a point where I thought that people who believe in God are just too gullible. At the same time I was talking to friends, confessing my love for Christ, and my amazing faith. I felt like a hypocrite. I was lying to myself, trying to portray an image that wasn’t really me. Somewhere along the line, I wanted the truth, I wanted to be sure. And something inside of me changed. God put it in my heart to find Him. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Asking God for faith and signs to make me believe that He was really with me. I was having a battle fought inside of me. Truth versus Lies. Life versus death.
Well, like Jesus said, He would knock on our hearts, but we would have to open it up for Him. God took me out of my hole and put me on my two feet so that I could follow Him. Guys I cant describe how empty I felt for soooo long. I really tried to fill it up with ideas of what I thought happiness should be. I thought having lots of friends would keep my mind occupied and not let it go crazy with questions. We party and drink, turn off the lights, make out, have sex, wake up the next morning bragging about all the action we got, and then do it again the next night. Ok. But then there always comes this point where we ask ourselves: why? Why live? Why wake up and be part of this routine called life? Maybe the questions aren’t that drastic, but we still have questions. We think that going to school, graduating, having a good job to provide for our family that we will eventually have, go to some vacations, save money and retire; we really think that it’s all going to work out for us. We’re wrong. We will ALWAYS have that emptiness inside that was meant to be filled by our Lord. We think that the clothes and the shoes we have define what we truly are. But we know that no matter how fresh we are, how many girls we get, or how much I got on my exam, will never get our parents back together, or stop my mom from being an alcoholic, or my dad from hitting my mom, or me to reach internal peace. No. Guys we need to reprioritize our lives and make God number one. Give Him the chance to lead you to the light.
For those of you who are reading this and have felt like this before, or feel like that now, just ask God to do His will in you. Try to look for Him, and you will find Him just like he allowed me to do. And if you have never accepted Christ and wish to do so you can. Look for Him. Guys we’re here to help each other out and be one under the Almighty. So lets. God Bless you guys!!!!

I KNOW IT WAS LONG SHEESH. BUT IT WAS POWERFUL IT REALLY WAS... CUZ I LOT OF US ARE STUCK IN BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS 2 AND 3... BETWEEN WHAT WE PROCLAIM ALOUD AND THE DOUBTS THAT FLUTTER IN OUR HEADS SOME TIMES..

i'm guilty of it...

HELL I'M PRETTY SURE I'VE EVEN HAD THOSE THOUGHTS IN CHURCH. SHOOT. IT'S THE REASON I'M AFRAIND TO PURSUE A MAJOR IN ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL FIELD. I'M AFRAID IT'D EASILY TAINT MY MIND. AND I'D BE BOGGLED BETWEEN WHETHER RELIGION WAS TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME OR IF MAN WAS...
NOW, I COULD SIT HERE AND BE LIKE... I WANT TO BE LIKE HIM.. I WANT TO PROCLAIM MY LOVE FOR GOD AND I WANT TO LIVE FOR HIM ETC... BUT I FEEL LIKE I WOULD BE DOING IT BECAUSE I FEEL GUILTY OR BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE.. AND I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT'S THE RIGHT REASON..
I THOUGHT I GAVE MY LIFE TO HIM A WHILE AGO BUT I LOOK BACK AND MY DEDICATION LIKE GRADUALLY FADED AND I FIND MY SELF LIVING JUST AS SINFUL AS THE NEXT PERSON.. TEMPTATION ALWAYS FINDS ME. AND I DON'T JUST MEAN SEXUALLY... I MEAN IN ALL WAYS... JUST THE TEMPTATION TO NOT FOLLOW HIM.. I'M SORRY THIS IS SO WRONG.. AND I'M SORRY THAT I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS THIS TIME BUT I THINK MY BOY JUAN PENA PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE FOR THE BOTH OF US WHEN HE SAID:

..just ask God to do His will in you. Try to look for Him, and you will find Him just like he allowed me to do. And if you have never accepted Christ and wish to do so you can. Look for Him.

YALL KNOW I CAN'T LEAVE YOU GRAPHIC-LESS...

CHILL... IT WAS EITHER THIS OR "BOUNCE DAT ASS MS.CUNNINGHAM"

...it's a recession

TiMES iS R0UGH

When I say times is rough i mean it.. This man was so distraught over his job loss that he killed his entire family and himself.

A man apparently distraught because he and his wife had lost their jobs killed his spouse and five young children before committing suicide in the family's suburban Los Angeles home Tuesday. Police said Ervin Lupoe, pictured above with his family, even faxed a letter to a local television station in which he explained "why we are dead."

Says Thomas Watkins(AP) AOL News.

2 year old boy
2 twin 5 year old boys
2 twin 8 year old girls

They got fired from Kaiser Permanente i saw it in the CNN vid.. [it won't let me embed] Kaiser won't say anything about it tho like why they were fired and what not.
I know who ever actually layed them off... like that one white guy that did it... i bet he feels hella guilty.. those are some really cute kids yo and did you hear their ages?? omg they had all of their lives ahead of them.
i know it sounded corny but like.. if times are rough don't resort to suicide.. it's not worth it.. well, living is worth it..

..damn

remember gas shortage??

baby, am i doing too much?

i just think this is wild...

and not only do they have a Chia Pet but there was a wax figure made of him in the infamous Madame Toussads wax musuem BEFORE inaugaration..

they got hilary and JFK too...
[it didn't play sound for me]

don't get me wrong he looks great all waxed up..
but does anyone think the chia pet was just... too much
i mean homer simpson has one but what historic figure do you know with a chia pet made of them??

CRAZY STORY
It's 10:46 in my 10 o'clock class, The Genetic Century and my bubbly, over enthused, horse lovin' science teacher belches.
Not any belch. it was loud. and wet. and just... gross..
She excused herself but then went on to what sounded like coughing up hairballs..
which lead to her spitting up into her own hand..
and then throwing up in the trash can..

it was the most random thing.
if she wasn't feelin' well that day she could have fooled me. she was just as outgoing as she usually is..
My friend thinks she's preggers..
maybe so.

Mentir.

so..
i HATE LiARS.
As you all know, i'm over analytical, i do A LOT of complaining, i take EVERYTHING personal... [but u love me for it so it doesn't matter] But this is just a lil warning.. this is one of those days and it's gonna be one of those articles.. Off some Brandy shit. I'll open up with this video. Very disturbing video. I can't even watch it all.. All i know is i HOPE they're lyin their ass off... cuz... psh

iigh so that was my whack ass attempt at adding a graphic to this article but i'ma get right into this joint cuz i GOTS ta get this off my chest.

"here we go yo, here we go yo, so what's so what's what's the scenario"

Scenario1:
So there was a party coming up at Northeastern but for Non-NU students... you had to get signed in by a NU student. So I have a few buddies over there and I asked them ahead of time if they could sign me and my girls in. And they were like yeah maybe not all 8/9 of y'all but def like 6.. And we thought we were good.
So come the day of the party, we hit one of em like, "You still got us?" and they were like "we'll see what we can do"... which eventually became a "it's not looking too good" which eventually became a "well ***** has like 4 friends comin from Providence and **** and ******* went snowboarding and they prolly won't be back in time" AKA no.
We ended up gettin' into the party.
But once we were there.. we never came across *****'s 4 Providence friends and FaceBook snitched when this Hispanic chick wrote on dudes wall like "thanks for gettin me in last night i had fun etc etc"...
Like why couldn't he just say no.. from the jump.
Or when he decided he'd rather sign in other chicks.. why didn't he just tell us..
We stood out in the cold.. for what felt like an hour.. waiting to find someone to sign us in..

Scenario2:
So my birthday is on Tuesday. And this chick in the building next to me has the same exact birthday as me.. Matter fact she's the one who brought it to my attention back in like Nov. So we're havin this great Wall to Wall about it... and I'm all "what do you have planned for your birthday" and she's all "idk we should frollick around campus yelling etc etc"...
Today on the way to practice a ran into my friend from NEWTON campus which is madd far and i'm like "yo **** what are you doing on Upper campus??" and she's all "oh im going to ********'s birthday dinner, you don't know about it?" and i'm all "nah, i don't. and that's funny cuz we have the same birthday"...
yes... i was salted
i have no problem admitting that.
like i know her and i dont chill like that like that... but i mean when i asked her what she was doin for her birthday she coulda hit me with the "me and my friends are going out to eat".. even if i was invited i probably wouldn't have gone but i mean i still feel as if the invitation should have been extended especially when other ppl that I KNOW she don't talk to like that like that were invited..
..and on top of that they pulled up in a stretch Escalade or Hummer or some shit.

The point of this article..
well there is no moral..
im just complaining lol
but my point is i don't know why ppl feel the need to lie about things as small as this... like these weren't even those... "oh lemme lie so i don't hurt her feelings" type lies... these were both like... pointless..
my feelings wouldn't have been hurt in either situation.. i wouldn't have been mad in either situation.. i honestly don't understand..

*Mellow Yellow is wearing heels and sweats walking around the hall burping*

Makes me wanna make a video about it.
That's somethin boys and girls could both relate to.

Whole time..
I don't think any Human Being can totally relate to me.
I just feel like I expect too much out of these Earthlings.
I need to find me some Martians..

I'll close this with a song... Lie To Me - George Nozuka
[Yes he is Justin Nozuka's brother.. their whole family is like... famous and/or talented]
...even tho in this song he wants to be lied to.. whatever

A MESS!

okay...the 1st video wont let me embed it but its called smell yo dick... and yes, its a serious song.. like seriously, its a song... so here's the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruef7aYCEbc

#2... This jaunt is jus....


She's a trip....if I was from the D id be sooooo embarassed....

#3 I saw this on Untamed and Uncut (on animal planet)

WAIT! i found these while searching for the Untamed and Uncut jaunt
a)

He wasnt playin! Did u see them caressin wit da necks! Oh well..atleast he tried!

b)This one gives trollip a whole new meaning!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She jus kept it movin... wow...

c)Can this happen?

She was not tryna give it up...but he was like...by any means necessary...

d)This is too funny!


e)This one is sad...its a vicious circle of life



okay now here's the intended video...


I sware that man said "O SHIT!"...thas the same thing I said wen i saw it on animal planet... good stuff
well thats all for now... i hope i got this video embedding thing right!

WHY?

Why do we continue to choose to confuse our minds and hearts with the unfit and unwell?

Why do we, instead of settling in healthy relationships, choose to situate ourselves in relationships that are harmful to our bodies, minds, and souls?

Why do we subjugate our selves to such abuse?

Why do we hate?

Why do we fear?

Why do we love?

Why do we love perfectly another but despise the beauty that is ourselves?

Why do we look at the television in awe but in the mirror with pain?

Why do guard our hearts so heavily with the artillery of attitudes, but melt at the simple slick smooth talk of a dude.

Why do we cry?

Why do we laugh?

Why do we smile?

Why do we constantly talk of our praised independence yet yearn for the love and partnership of a man?

Why is she our enemy one-minute and then our best friend the next?

Why can the same lips that smile so beautifully, turn and speak such ugly and harmful untruths of another.

Why do we let others determine the factors that truly make us happy?

Why do we continue to choose to confuse our minds and hearts with the unfit and the unwell?

Why do we subjugate our selves to such abuse?

Why do we hate?

Why do we love?

Why?

UMMMM soooo yea... just sitting at my computer... and justt... alll of this came out...

peaceeee

quote: sryyy i've been MIA. I've been sick and trying get settled with school and everything..

SEE YOUU SOON :-)