Courage to Know [the third]

This is gonna be good...
Almost as good as 'Livin' in Perfect Harmony' ALMOST
Today... is thursday [don't know what that means? Click Here]. Today.my class didn't take a field trip.. we discussed one of our readings.. which i didn't read but the discussion ended up REALLY good.
Let's set this one up with a video...

When I tell you, "A Doctor is coming to speak to our class today" what do you picture?
I don't know about you, but I picture a Caucasian male. Why when speaking of a doctor of any other race, we have to specify it? Why is Caucasian male the norm? Maybe doctor isn't the example for you but you get the point.

Today we talked about the underprivileged vs the over-privileged. The computer is telling me that's a typo.. Which brings me to one of my points... Everyone feels underprivileged. No one thinks they're over-privileged. In the workplace. It turns to an argument about Affirmative Action and things like that. But the point is... there have to be over-privileged people in order for those that are underprivileged to exist. Am I right?

This conversation got thick into the muck of race relations and i LOVED it. This was SO my topic to speak on. Boston College is, in essence, a predominantly white school. Many people may think that this is the reason that blacks tend to associate with blacks and that whites do the same but the truth is, it's a matter of class.
I realized a few weeks ago, the reason I only hang out with black people is not only because we are of the same cultural background but it's also because white people have never heard of a Dollar Store. And the only black people that do hang out with the white people have something in common with them: money.
Walking onto this campus, you're surrounded by a plethora of name brands. Everywhere you turn. Name brands I've never even heard of! or Seen! It's quite intimidating for someone like me who could care less about the name on my jeans, to try to approach females with their coach rainboots.

What I didn't realize is I'm not the only victim in this situation. One of my classmates, who is African American, is the daughter of the man who started Black Enterprise. If you didn't know, Black Enterprise is a magazine, website, that is quote: "The ultimate source of wealth creation". It strives to better African Americans state of wealth, and help them start businesses and things like that. You can imagine, she has money. She described to me how she felt coming to BC. She wanted to make African American friends but she feels just as intimidated as we do. Because she is afraid as being categorized as stuck up or boogie or sahditty [thats for you b.coles].

How do we bridge the gap?
I feel like in order to find things you have in common with people and things like that.. you have to get past the fear and intimidation and just do it. What's the worse that can happen? And if something drastic happens... you can blog about it!!
I challenge all BC students reading this to like.. introduce yourself to someone new.. Like a stuck up white girl friend.. And comment about your experience.

Rich Black Girl also talked about how she was intimidated by the fact that it looked like we all already knew each other and had our own groups of friends and things like that. It's very true but there's a reason for it.
Boston College feels the need to tend to minorities by creating programs and retreats and activities for them. There are so many events for black ppl, and spanish ppl, events that happen before you even accept to the school. If you are placing us in all of these programs with each other, how do you expect us to branch out? The black people are going to be the only people we know! It's alread bad enough that the poorer are generally intimidated by the rich. But to worsen it, BC makes us feel handicapped, 'special' compared to everyone else. How are we supposed to feel good enough?

I also think that the white people at this school get a really bad representation of african americans.. I'm not saying we're dead beats but.. what i am saying is... every african american here is either an athlete, on a dance team, or a singing troup. It just fits the stereotype that we can jump, dance and sing. I mean its crazy. Sometimes I feel like a little dancing monkey in a cage. I feel like all of the white people I know and talk to, ask me to dance for them or teach them my moves and it's like.. I'm so much more than that.. not just your exhibit A.
Thing is they fit their stereotypes too!!... But if we are all just going to have presumptions about people than why shouldn't we act the way people expect? If BC is going to take 200 dollars out of everyones meal plan, assuming that much will be stolen, than why shouldn't we steal.. 200 dollars worth of goods??

I really wanted to put up the scene from crash with Ludacris and Larenz Tate but I couldnt find a good version... it's the first scene in this montage.. it's low quality but you'll get the idea

There are some really good quotes and good scenes in this movie.. if you have never seen it please watch it within the next 24 hrs... Click Here to see some quotes...

Anthony: You see any white people in there waiting an hour and thirty two minutes for a plate of spaghetti? Huh? And how many cups of coffee did we get?
Peter: You don't drink coffee and I didn't want any.
Anthony: That woman poured cup after cup to every single white person around us. Did she even ask you if you wanted any?
Peter: We didn't get any coffee that you didn't want and I didn't order, and this is evidence of racial discrimination? Did you happen to notice our waitress was black?
Anthony: And black women don't think in stereo types? You tell me something man. When was the lat time you met one who didn't think she knew everything about your lazy ass? Before you even open your mouth, huh?
Anthony: Look around! You couldn't find a whiter, safer or better lit part of this city. But this white woman sees two black guys, who look like UCLA students, strolling down the sidewalk and her reaction is blind fear. I mean, look at us! Are we dressed like gang-bangers? Huh? No. Do we look threatening? No. Fact, if anybody should be scared around here, it's us: We're the only two black faces surrounded by a sea of over-caffeinated white people, patrolled by the triggerhappy LAPD. So you tell me, why aren't we scared?
Peter: Because we have guns?
Anthony: You could be right.

The only think i dislike is Ludacris... who plays Anthony ALWAYS has to be the victim.. especially in that Bus scene...

Anyway, its kind of like what I said in Livin' In Perfect Harmony [didn't read it? click it!] about the athletes. And how if we are going to automaticall assume that all athletes are going to be assholes that screw you over, why shouldn't they all act like ass holes that screw you over..
When people make assumptions doesn't it just make you want to do whatever they assume you're going to do? Like how the guy on the elevator in the first video wanted to snatch her purse?
BUT NO...
We shouldn't. Because we are only making it worse. We should strive to be different. Not typical black people. Most of these white people at BC have never been at a place so diverse [diverse here means 6percent minorities].. We have to prove the stereotypes wrong for their sake. All they can see is that black people can jump, sing and dance.
It's really sad.

Any other suggestions to change the presumptions?

Let's end it with a little clean fun... Katt



I love his effin dance baseball bowling and basketball paaahahah

LIFE IS SHORT!

oh and if you have time give my brother blog a hit..
theres a really good series about shy guys happening...
Here's the link.

Livin' In Perfect Harmony

Today we're going to talk about the good stuff.

Love, relationships maybe some sex. You know, all that good stuff. I have a couple topics I want to discuss that have been heavy on my mind. These include, biracial couples, dating people with heavy accents, or dating a person that primarily speaks another language. I also want to hit the topics of liking the idea of someone verse actually liking them. That will also include someone having potential verse someone having something special. And last but def. not least.. dating athletes... Let's get it.

Bi-Racial Couples

He better get it.

Lol.

I have no problem with bi-racial couples. Matter fact, I want to marry an Asian man so my kids can look like Amerie. no suh, see that's the problem right there. I feel like some ghetto black broads date outside their race because they want their kids to have good hair and a nice complexion. I don't know about you but, that pisses me the fvck off. If you were to date outside your race, what would be your reasoning??

I know for me, I am actually attracted to guys of a lot of different races. I don't know how people can straight up say.. I only talk to white girls or I only talk to black and Spanish guys like.. You never know what is gonna appeal to your eye. And you def. never know what's gonna appeal to your heart. My roommate is always talking about how theres no such thing as liking only light skin black boys or only liking dark skin black boys. And she's right, maybe you usually pull light skin black boys or they catch your eye first but eventually there will be a dark skin boy that you find absolutely gorgeous. You can't limit yourself.

And I try not to limit myself but... It's like guys outside my race(s) don't take me seriously. We've all been through it. You approach a group of your caucasian associates and they all start trying to 'act black' "What's Up DAWG!" and they try to dap you up.. Or they try to 'act black' by saying "Shooot" or "Girrrrrl" and it's like you don't have to change they way you act because a black person has approached you. It pisses me off yo. Because what if I was genuinely interested in you. I can't even get past that interest because you feel like you can't be yourself, or have to be someone else when you're around me. Are black girls just too unapproachable? or intimidating?

Hell, sometimes I feel intimidated. A lot of people stick with their culture group. Hispanics tend to date hispanics [and stay with them forever] asians usually date asians.. And when I have a genuine attraction for either a hispanic guy or an asian guy I feel like even if they are being themselves around me, they'd never take it past the friendship level to anything serious because I'm not hispanic or asian or cape verdean. Is this true? Honestly with the hispanic and asian aspect of it.. Sometimes I feel inferior to the hispanic and asian females I'm 'competing' against [for lack of better words]. They're beautiful. Can a hispanic or asian guy see beauty in me, even though I'm not hispanic or Asian??

Maybe they think the same thing that I think about them. Maybe they're afraid that I don't date out of my culture. But hell, I don't know how anyone can look at me and say that. I'm mixed with so many things. Geez. Do you guys think I could bag a Hispanic or Asian guy tho?? How do I know if he's taking me seriously?

It shouldn't be about this. right? Like, we should like people for what they are inside and all that corny junk. But the truth is, attraction is the first step. I don't care what anyone says, relationships with people you aren't attracted to DON'T WORK! I've been there, tried that.

All of these black and white people dating each other are the beginning of a melting pot and soon enough everyone should be able to date everyone but right now I'm still intimidated when it comes to approaching a Hispanic or Asian guy.

Accents

I've always straight up said if I found a black guy with a British accent panties would drop immediately, not literally but you get the point. I think British accents are soooo HOT! And French guys with nice bods and long hair are hot too.. So I started making the generalization that guys with accents were hot. Boy, was I wrong.

Over the past few weeks, I have encountered two new accents. I met a kid from the Ivory Coast whose accent was mixed with a Boston accent and it was just... strange.
I also met a kid from Nigeria and it was just... gross..

What sucks is, they were both very attractive males but I couldn't get past the accent.
Am I shallow?

The fact that I can't get past something on the outside? I mean it's almost the same as the people that don't date outside their race or complexion. I don't date outside my accent with the exception of a hot British guy.
Would you be embarrassed of a guy or girl with a gross accent? Like, in public.

It's almost the same as dating a straight guy that's kind of.. flamboyant. You'd be a little embarrassed. Or dating a guy that couldn't dress... at all.

What's acceptable and what isn't. What do I need to get over and what requirements do I keep?
And seriously, am I shallow?

Different Language

This also goes back to the bi-racial thing and like how.. people of the same cultures tend to associate with each other. If you aren't a part of that culture and like, your boyfriend brings you to a family event or to like the meeting for the Korean club like, how do you know if people are talking shit when they're speaking Korean? Can I just state a fact, if you and the significant other don't speak the same language at all, it's not going to work, period. But I'm talking about if the other person speaks say, Spanish to his roommates or most of his friends. Wouldn't you feel left out?? Wouldn't it just make your insecurities worse or create concerns??

This isn't about language but like... How do you deal with it when you're significant other is like.. really nice ...to everyone. Opens doors, carries things, tutors, touches that spot on their lower back [not too high where it's just friends but not too low where it's I just want some ass. Hitch anyone?]. And how do you deal with it when all of his friends... that he's nice too... are GORGEOUS and awesome... Lol. I guess you just have to trust the fact that.. he's with you right. Meaning he made a choice to be with you.. when he could have chosen her. Right? Then why do guys cheat? Or have things on the side? Like, don't make it official if you have other prospective bun joints. Because once you make that commitment.. I'm trusting that you chose me. Right?

Liking Someone VS Liking the Idea of Them

I could argue about this topic for hours but basically, we all have an ideal girlfriend or boyfriend in mind right... Like I want my husband to be taller than me with my heels on.. Nice body, humorous, relationship with God, into performance, visual and fine arts, in touch with his emotions, confident, etc. So when I find someone that meets my criteria, I think I like them but really.. I just like the idea of them..

Someone that fits your criteria has potential.. Having potential doesn't mean that he's the one. It means he fits the criteria and he's convenient... There is a certain 'it' factor that one must have to be the one. He could also have 'it' and not have potential. There could be something about him that draws me in yet he could have a girlfriend, or dress weird, or be short.

My problem is deciding whether or not I actually like someone, or if I just like the idea of them. Do you have to like the idea of someone BEFORE you begin to like them?

I don't think so. I think you have to like the idea of someone before you get into a relationship with them but I don't think liking the idea of someone is a prerequisite for just liking them. I have liked the idea of a few people at BC but no one has 'it' yet. I've even begun to like some people that I like the idea of but still not 'it' factor. Am I wasting my time if I entertain these 'it'-less guys? Or should I just wait until I find someone with the 'it' factor??

Dating Athletes

you guys remember my article about dating freshman... I feel like when it comes to dating athletes, everyones the Freshmen.

Why do we classify athletes in such a separate category? Have their actions given themselves this rep or have our assumptions of them forced them to act this way?

I feel like I came to college with this huge mentality that every male athlete was going to be an asshole.. I feel like there are definitely a few male athletes that have proved me right but I also feel like I am witnessing the transformation.
Some of them start off as nice guys, but when bitties with raging hormones get athlete-happy what do they expect? To get treated like a lady? Oh yeah, here's my pussy on a platter. Athlete: no, no I can't accept that. YEAH RIGHT! It grows to the point that they expect pussy on a platter, from every female.. because SOO many females are handing it over. And when you're that girl that's like.. Suck your dick? What?! Nigha, hell no! You think he's an asshole because of how he approached you. And yes, i agree, he was out of place but, what did you expect when every other female is like "I'll do whatever you liike". Are there any athletes that don't transform?? Or are they all bound to be assholes...

By the way, as friends a lot of them are madd cool but I'm talking about relationship wise.


I asked a lot of questions..
So here they are conveniently posted again for your convenience lol.
You don't have to answer like all of them or anything, you don't get a grade for this or anything. I'm just interested in what other people think about this...


*1*If you were to date outside your race, what would be your reasoning?

*2*Are black girls just too unapproachable? or intimidating?

*3*Can a hispanic or asian guy see beauty in me, even though I'm not hispanic or Asian?

*4*Do you guys think I could bag a Hispanic or Asian guy tho?

*5*How do I know if he's taking me seriously?

*6*Am I shallow?

*7*What requirements are acceptable and what aren't. What do I need to get over and what requirements do I keep?

*8*If the other person speaks say, Spanish to his roommates or most of his friends. Wouldn't you feel left out?? Wouldn't it just make your insecurities worse or create concerns??

*9*How do you deal with it when you're significant other is really nice to all of his friends that are gorgeous and awesome?

*10*He made a choice to be with you.. when he could have chosen her. Right? Then why do guys cheat? Or have things on the side?

*11*Do you have to like the idea of someone BEFORE you begin to like them?

*12*Am I wasting my time if I entertain these 'it'-less guys? Or should I just wait until I find someone with the 'it' factor??

*13*Why do we classify athletes in such a separate category? Have their actions given themselves this rep or have our assumptions of them forced them to act this way?

*14*Are there any athletes that don't transform?


Totally forgot to ask about sex with people from other races and cultures... what's it like? is it much different? anyone have any crazy sex stories with people of other cultures? You can be anonymous if you want.

And if you haven't read season of love... please do.. you can click it..

Holladay.

Ok so here's the story of my pathetic yet oh so entertaining saturday.
First let me begin by telling you, I'm sick and I've been sick since
Thursday.
So....
when I got back to my room late Friday, I had an email from Dance Team
coach telling me someone wasn't going to be able to perform the next
day, so I had to fill in her spot. It wasn't a big deal, I could do it.
Then Saturday morning, hear the forecast. They talkina bout rain.
Man... I'm not even exaggerating when I say it started to rain AS SOON
as we left the stands to stretch. Like, it wasn't raining at all before.
We stretch when there's 5 minutes left in the third quarter mannn it was
the absolute longest 5 minutes ever. Who calls time out 17 seconds
before time out?
So we performed.
In the rain.
Smiles and all.
Finished lookin like drowned rats but HEY the crown loved us.
My dumb ass volunteered for something called pep band last week. So it
was my assignment for this week. So I had to travel around the stands
with a couple instrumentalists...
in the rain.
Then towards the end of the game... the skies opened up and pissed on
our asses man.. I literally couldn't see. I was cheerin with my eyes
closed. It was unbearable.
As you can see I wasn't in the best of spirits and I was sick. I came
back to my room and slept. For hours. Uninterrupted. Felt great.
Woke up. Tried to do homework. Didn't happen and by this time it was
time to get ready for Holladay.
Man.
Me and my girls took soooo long figuring out what to wear. I'm usually a
chick that gets ready fast, like a dude. And I take pride in that
capability. But Saturday just wasn't my night. I wasn't happy with
anything I picked out.
I wasn't the only one though.
Everyone was stressing about it.
Even the people that were supposed to call the cab.
All of us discombobulated with
heels or not
shorts or not
boots or not
dress or not
didn't think about how we were getting there.
Last minute we're calling maddd cab companies.
No Luck At All.
Bitches were hanging up on me and ish cuz they didn't have any cabs
available. I was frustrated, sick, and I didn't like my outfit...
ugghhh.
Get this tho, one of my girls walks outside and there's a cab out there
and she just... stole it.
We were so ecstatic. FINALLY a cab!!
Then, he wouldn't take 5 of us, even though we fit quite comfortably. We
were pissed. Found a cab after hours of trying to call one, and dude
wouldn't even take us. Luckily, another one pulled up and another
girlfriend of mine hopped out, flagged it down, and hopped in it.
Got the address of FaceBook, arrived. Meanwhile, my girls in the other
cab don't think they're gonna have enough to pay and that's when it
dawned on us...
We had no money for the cab back.
dun. dun.. dun...
We went thru all this shit to look cute and get there and aint know how
the hell we was gettin back.
All I knew was, the party better be BANGIN at this point. like, it
better be worth it.. righ?
And it was.
It was just maddd hot like.. you walked in glistening from the sweat
that accumalated as you were waiting in line.
hair? forget it.
Good thing about it was all the girls looked like skanks. Left and right
they were all messed up and trying really really hard and not
succeeding.
Remember how I said I didn't like my outfit? I didn't. But it no longer
mattered because looking around at my 'competition' I suddenly felt
over-confident in my appearance. Me and all my girls..
Well pretty much BC was the best looking school in there.
I'm not gonna lie though...
There were sooo many cuties in that joint. I didn't know what to do with
myself. Until the dehydration and sleep deprivation hit me.
So its the end of the night
And we decided to sleep at Harvard Square and wait for the T to
re-open.
JOKE.
I had to grow a scrotum sack and decided to ask the male species for
funds in which my friends and I could transport back to campus.
I hate asking for money I hate it I hate it.
I don't ask anyone.
Ever.
I feel uncomfortable with it.. even with my own grandparents like.. I
can't do it.. its hard.
I don't know if its like pride or the fact that I feel like I owe so
much to people that do things for me.
Maybe it's because not much has been done for me in life.
Nothing was passed to me on a platter I've worked for it all and I'm not
used to people being willing and able to help me out.
In this situation however.. the nitty came down to the gritty and I had
no choice. I had to ask a friend for money and yeah we're cool but to be
honest.. we only been in school for what.. 27 days? It hasn't even quite
been a month since classes started.
If I have a problem asking my family, people I've known all of my life,
for money imagine how hard it was for me to build up the courage to ask
a guy I only knew for 27days.. It didn't seem to be a big deal to anyone
else but to me it was huge.
Funny thing is he gave us cab fare and we couldn't even flag down a
cab.
One of my girls even took her jacket off if you know what I mean.
I'm preeettty sure it was because we're black.
and we were with all black guys, big guys, football players..
instead of flagging down a cab, we flagged down a truck of nighaz. one
of which new my girl.
he was asking about after parties and what not.. I didn't know of any
but apparently there was one at my school? idk. anyway that's what we
told them.. and they offered us a ride..
until they saw how many of us there were [5]. at that point the plan was
to flag down one cab and the rest of us will cop a ride.
We still couldn't manage to get a cab so we decided to do it Mexican
style and pile up in the truck. Me, being the smallest.. always the
smallest.. Got the smallest space available.. in the trunk, the space
behind the seats? u kno? yeah that.
It wasn't that bad tho.. we stopped at 7eleven got slurpees... got
stalked by some guy... met Ne-Yo... walked through a marinachie band...
listened to the driver freestly (followed by awkward silence) it was an
adventure..
especially when we got to the parking lot in front of a dorm at bc and
found out there was no party.
THEN bc police came up to our black foggy glassed truck madd skeptical
like... but all he said was to move because he was layin tickets out
soon.
At that point we decided it was God. No party equals no tow. Good shit.
Ok so these dudes still wanna chill with us. I'm down. One of the other
girls are down. But the other 3 aren't and they're trying to teall us in
code and we didn't catch on. It was hilarious.
We decided to call it a night.
I gave him gas money so it was kinda like a cab.
Meh.
Pathetic isn't it?
Sent from .:JaZz0:.'s T-Mobile Sidekick®