HEY!

iight, so i havent been here in a while... i was half way expecting to come to ecp and find that i had been deleted as an author... lol jazzo dont play no games...
but anywhoo... so many things are going on with me i jus thought id share....
as i go thru another relationship...i make sacrifices because i really want this to work... but there are things about this relationship that scare the shit out of me... like, he doesnt like to talk everyday.... he says that we'll end up running out of things to say... thats str8... actually thats more than cool. i jus wait for him to contact me...which i like to do anyways. But what happens wen i wana tell him something exciting or something... must i make a "to tell ***** list"? like wtf? iight i syced it...lol its not like that... but what blows me is that, whenever we do talk he's so fuckin inattentive...like DAMN we barely talk...and when we do, u're somewhere else? what type a....iight but anyways...the scary thing about that is in the subtext of the text, will i be the only one sacrificing in this relationship? then next scary factor in this relationship is the ex...like he felt sooooooo much for her, he really love(d/s) her and im jus afraid that i wont measure up...and its not even just that, I feel like he will never feel for me, like he felt/feels for her... and i know i shouldnt expect that... so im not saying, the exact same feelings, but i jus really want some1 to like me enough to write poems and gushy stuff about me outa the blu...like i guess i jus feel like...he'll never like/love me enough to do those things for me... FUCK! im tired of tryna live up to these ex's... i had to do that shit with my ex and i SWARE i dont wana do it again... its jus something i have to talk to him about i guess... i also constantly find myself coming up with things that i need him to know about me.... like

1. im really sensitive and easily tainted by the littlest shit
2. im the
icky love type...wen i wana be with someone... i wana do all that icky romantic
shit ppl only see on the movies
3. i really try not to be pushy, but
sometimes i am
4. i am willing to make sacrifices, but not by myself...it
takes 2 to tango love
5. wen i fall...i fall hard
6. even tho i am
willing to sacrifice, i am who i am and there isnt but so much i'll sacrifice...
get wit it or get lost
7. i have a REALLY big heart, and i recently heard
that they break easily, please keep this in mind
8. i dont like to be
teased, if u want a relationship with me, dont dangle that shit infrona my face
and snatch it bak wen i bite...im not a pet
9. im not a pet
10. there
were more but i didnt write them down....so lastly, like i said b4...i am who i
am.... fuck wit me

but yeah...i really like this guy... he's the 1st person ive had tanglible feelings for since my ex.. i jus...i dont know... and he's an athlete...and he's hottt! and he has a good head on his shoulders... he's a hot commodity... which makes me think that all the hoes be jockin... lol iight, they're not hoes... but the girls up there that be...well, thirsty...lol



anywhoo... what else is goin on... finals and shit...URGGGGGGG i cant STAND finals... and im getting ready to leave Howard for summer.... its exciting but scary cuz i have so many plans and high hopes...like...i plan to have a new car with in the next two weeks... only problem is...i aint got a JOB! so i gota find one of those first.... anywhoo...im tryna work on this 15 page paper so ill be back to update you n a while.... <3>