I figured it out...

So i was going through some of my own facebook notes just now, and I came across one I wrote a while back for a friend of mine, to help him get over his girlfriend.. Soon after that, I fell for him myself, only to be the one hurt in the end. And now, looking back at the note, I see that it's time for me to take my own advice. The note read:

Ex-Factor


Remember having loose teeth when we were little? And how sometimes we’d let it dangle on a string for as long as we could to avoid having that gap in our mouth…
“it could all be so simple, but you rather make it hard, loving you is like a battle, and we both end up scarred”
Bear with me and this analogy. Losing teeth is something that everyone has to go through, it may feel like you’re the only one losing them, or experiencing the pain, but reality is everyone loses teeth, and as children we make the process more complicated then it has to be, because of fear.
We are so used to those teeth in our mouth, just like you’ve grown accustom to that person in your life. But when teeth start to dangle, when the relationship between the two of you is no longer solid, it is time to lose that tooth. Feel me?Keeping the tooth in your mouth does nothing but cause a collision when a new tooth tries to grow in, you’ll never be able to find someone else with the other person still dominating your life, you’ll never be able to open up fully, again.
“is this just a silly game, that forces you to act this way?”
The funny thing about this is the tooth like dangling there, it feels like it’s still attached in some sort of way however, that’s not where it wants to forever be. Letting a lose tooth dangle in your mouth ain’t helping you, I mean yeah you have the comfort of still having a tooth there but… meanwhile she’s tryina be in someone elses mouth ;-)
“no matter how I think we grow you always seem to let me know, it ain’t workin”
You can try to ask that tooth to stay in your mouth, try to stand it up again, but once it starts to dangle… that tooth is coming out. Everytime you try to create a solid relationship with them again, there’s a reason, an excuse, a circumstance that keeps it from happening. Wouldn’t you think that’s a sign in itself?
“..and when I try to walk away you hurt yourself to make me stay, this is crazy”
Yet, they still want to dangle in your mouth. Which only hurts the both of you. Why would someone want to dangle a prize in front of you for so long and never give to, never let you have it knowing not having it is hurting you? The person is thinking selfishly, they are thinking about they’re own comfort, of always having a mouth to come back to, but reality is, if they really wanted to stay in that mouth, they never would have started to dangle, or become unsure about things.
“I keep letting you back in, how can I explain myself? As painful as this thing has been, I just can’t be with no one else”
You know I’m right. But you just keep letting it happen. It’s hard. I hope I’m acting as the string tied to the door as you read this, to help yank that tooth out of your mouth because it ain’t healthy. You can do it. It only bleeds for a little while, there’s only a gap for a little while, but you gotta create room for new, permanent teeth to grow in.
There’s a tooth under those bleeding gums, you just gotta create space in your life for it to come in. You ca always save it underneath your pillow, in your memories, but take it out of your heart..
“see I know what we’ve got to do, you let go and I let go too”
-Lauryn Hill

baby teeth are baby teeth for a reason. they teach you how to maintain a tooth in your mouth, but they can't do for you what a permanent tooth can. this analogy was really far fetched but it did the trick!

And it did the trick again. But this time for me.
I kept asking myself why I had to face this heartache.
Like, everything happens for a reason, right?
Then.. why did this happen? Better yet, how did I let this happen for the second time?
But I realize now that it wasn't in my hands.
And sometimes we are put into peoples lives for seasons or lifetimes.. for a purpose.
It could be a purpose to help yourself, but sometimes it's to help them.
And I think my duty was fulfilled in his life.
I just made the mistake of confusing purpose with destiny.
And thought I was suppose to be with him when no,
I was just supposed to aid him for a season of his life.
And the sooner I close this chapter of my life,
The sooner the next one can open..