10 things I hate about... fashion

Muffin tops


Could it be the way the excess skin hangs over the overly tightened belt?
Or maybe it's the decade old baby gap shirt rising from hip to midrif...
I don't know what it is but Muffin tops are a no-no.
Problem Solver:
Loosen the belt.
Buy Bigger shirts
Gold's Gym.

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BAPE hoodies

Not only is the BAPE hoodie alone a mass disarray of color clashing confusion
but the guys who wear them wear them ten sizes too big as well.
this creates uncurable migranes and cross-eyed-ness.
I feel like ugly guys wear these to distract the ladies from their feo faces.
BUWAAHAHAHAHA
Problem Solver:
Pea coats!
Plainer Pattern.
Or you could always take it back to THERMALS!

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Talking Shoes

I already dont like feet [or Reeboks btw]
But it's a bigger problem when I can see your feet,
in a shoe, that is not a flip flop, sandal, croc, jelli, etc.
The ongoing seperation of the shoe's toe from it's sole
is just as distracting as a stain on a shirt
Problem Solver:
Dont walk so hard, its not that serious
The obvious - new shoes
Buy a better brand, so that you'll WANT to take care of them
[i know you ladies take GOOD care of them Uggz]

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FUR COATS

I don't mind a little fur in or on the hood.
and some fur coats are subtle.
But when you go as far as blue and pink fur.
and those really BIG fur coats..
..you've gone too far.
Fur coats are like BAPE hoodies..
Used to distract the ladies from dudes feo faces.
Problem Solver:
stay inside.
wear LAYERS to be warm
or the oh-so-awesome North Face.

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Nike Penny Foamposites

See I love Nike.
But i just felt like seeing every single guy
with the royal blue pair of foamposites was nauseating (sp?)
Why so blue? Have you ever seen iRobot?
I feel like this shoe design was made with
Robots in consideration..
...or clowns
Problem Solver:
Grab some flip flops/sandals
[like every other guy these days]
Step ya sneaka game up.
Dunk it.

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Visible Cellulite

Like if you're rotund, it's cool!
Just, be aware of it and
DON'T try to wear what everyone else wears.
Visible Cellulite is just as bad as
visible crotch wrinkles on an elderly person.
Problem Solver:
Stairs.
Capri's
One piece swim suits
[which are coming back btw, i mean not this one.. but they are i promise]

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Sweaters - Cosby, Coogi or anything Argyle

If you guys didn't know, argyles like
that pattern with the diamond slash triangle type thing goin for it.
Either way, Coogi sweaters look like inside out disaster
Cosby sweaters are like vomit art
and argyle is as bad as plaid.
Problem Solver:
Plainer Patterns
Thermals.
Ask Grandma, politely, to stop knitting for you.

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Denim and/or Corduroy Overalls

Unless you want to be in the industrial field
or going for the Janey Briggs look
[anyone know what movie im referencing? bonus points if u guess!]
Dont do overalls.
I see stylists tryina get creative and have the skirts and the shorts
and thats cool
...i guess
but just promise me,
you wont wear DENIM or CORDUROY overalls.
Problem Solver:
jeans and suspenders?
no, thats just as bad
I dont know how to fix this one guys..
Cuz i dont know the purpose of these
for painters? idk.
These are kinda cute tho..

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Clashing Colors

Just wearing..
Brown shirts with Black leggings or
Pink and Red together or
Black pants and Navy blue shirts or
Faded black and real black..
Just.. don't.
Problem Solver:
Don't dress in the dark.
Ask a friend.
Or if you're gonna mismatch,
mismatch with confidence and
take bigger risks..

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Boys... shorts? capris? pants?

sorry so small.
it was either this or a character from the SIMs so..
yeah what the hell do you call these?
shorts? capris? or pants??
i dont even know.
but what their purpose like..
was it not hot enough for you to wear shorts,
but not cold enough for full length jeans?
or do you guys just find the ankle breeze pleasing?
And then they just make it worse with
those suuuper long white tees.. uggh. gross
Problem Solver:
Shorts.
Pants.
Style
How's this for style..
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Something Extra:
this is the
The Baggy Tight Pant

What do you guys think of these?

I say hell no.