saturday morning slash friday night
staring at the ceiling
aftermath of a fight
maybe I.. maybe I over reacted
or maybe I'm bein over dramatic
but even if I am, he's spose to be my man
he's spose to understand
and adapt
instead as I collapse
he breathes soo easy...
as my tear ducks release every complaint
he rests soo easy...
while I cant even begin to force my eye lids faint
he sleeps soo easy...
without a worry, without a care
without even acknowledging that I'm not there
he lies, content next to an empty space
as I lie in sorrow next to a vision of his face
he..
will..
be..
fine.
I won't even get the privelage of a memory in his mind.
so many to replace me, so many more to come.
I lack all significance I was just another one..
but maybe I was dumb.
maybe I ask for way too much
to be respected, acknowledged, payed attention to and such
and maybe I'm the clown
to actually be interested in him, his past, and things he's going
through now
maybe I.. maybe I deserve more
maybe he isn't capable of giving me what I'm asking for...
staring at the ceiling
aftermath of a fight
maybe I.. maybe I over reacted
or maybe I'm bein over dramatic
but even if I am, he's spose to be my man
he's spose to understand
and adapt
instead as I collapse
he breathes soo easy...
as my tear ducks release every complaint
he rests soo easy...
while I cant even begin to force my eye lids faint
he sleeps soo easy...
without a worry, without a care
without even acknowledging that I'm not there
he lies, content next to an empty space
as I lie in sorrow next to a vision of his face
he..
will..
be..
fine.
I won't even get the privelage of a memory in his mind.
so many to replace me, so many more to come.
I lack all significance I was just another one..
but maybe I was dumb.
maybe I ask for way too much
to be respected, acknowledged, payed attention to and such
and maybe I'm the clown
to actually be interested in him, his past, and things he's going
through now
maybe I.. maybe I deserve more
maybe he isn't capable of giving me what I'm asking for...
Question,
Do you guys think this is finished or does it need somethin else?
Can you guys think of a good title?
Sent from .:JaZz0:.'s T-Mobile Sidekick®
3 people left me some shugga!:
I reallly like it so far. a lot of substance, simple and relatable. as for a title.. i don't know yet cause really i don't think its finished or i don't want it to be finished just yet. for the last two lines you took a turn in you view of thinkin, but it only lasted two lines because you ended it. maybe you should develop that train of thought of it being more the guys fault rather than the speakers fault... iono. and maybe if you do that the title will become clearer to you... iono or you can keep it the way it is and call it "maybe".. its your take
newhoooooo nice poem. i enjoyed it.
peaceee
untittled is perfect cuz it describes more than the fact that you couldnt think of a tittle, it describes the relationship. he's stupid! lol dont go any further w/o tellin him how you feel!
w/o being to obvious, I would say that your poem was beautiful by the way. As far as your feeling for this guy or being an asshole it wasnt meant for you to feel that way im sure. A young woman with a mind as unique as yours should never let another man put down your feelings. Maybe he jus not your type or can actually please what you want from a man.
SAW IV
Post a Comment