I remember in that other post when I said i thought the reason I was placed in his life was to help him get over his ex but like.. The other girl could have been there for that. Did God want me to learn from this? or something... I guess this experience was to teach me that you can't judge a book by its author (the parents he was raised by), you can't judge a book by it's cover (the perception he portrays), you can't even judge a book by it's first few chapters because... there may be a twist at the end. And you never know... until you're finished reading it.
I'm starting to believe that love is for those that are in it. I bet if I surveyed people that believe in love, the vast majority of them would be people that are either in love.. haven't been in love yet or haven't been screwed over yet. But it's bound to happen.. and when it does, they aren't going to believe it anymore.
Love is kind of like religion. Spiritual health requires that you believe in a higher power. It keeps you motivated, moving, progressing.. but it isn't necessarily real. Faith is just necessary, hope is necessary, and without it we'd drive ourselves insane. Even atheists believe in something. Love is the same way in a sense that it provides false hope. However, the difference between love and religion is people live to testify that love is false but no one actually knows about religion.
Am I getting too philosophical on you guys? My bad gangstas. Don't shoot.
I can't wait to tell my aunt about Heartbreak this time.. She told me a few months ago to just leave him alone. That he didn't even deserve my friendship but I thought since I semi-knew about his potential girlfriend, I was kind of in the wrong for thinking nothing would change when he went off to school. But now, knowing that the entire time there was yet ANOTHER girl in the picture, that I knew, that he lied about at his own party.. he doesn't deserve my friendship.. not even my acquaintanceship.. because I didn't deserve what he did to me.
I look back at that party like damn. He got me. You got my ass, Heartbreak. For real, like, kudos. I witnessed it with my own eyes.. That was a great excuse you came up with tho, Heartbreak. Saying you had to create a diversion, a facade so no one knew you were really trying to talk to me.. Great liar. Like father, like son.
"Cuz the truth would hurt me even more"
Nigha, don't try to act like you care about my feelings NOW. Lol.
This video makes me smile..
But you guys, I just realized... I'm gettin' so amped up over things he DID..
peep the past tense? Like.. call it cliche but.. I'm toooo blessed to be stressed.
I have traveled so far from my struggle, and I can just tell that I'm not finished yet. God is not done using me.
Why be so bitter about the past when I have such a promising future? Thank you for the experience, Heartbreak.
Oh plus, I was recently told that I have accumulated a waiting list. If you know what I mean... Lol.
4 people left me some shugga!:
hmmm... i like that "You cant judge a book by its author" thats good stuff...deep
the book analogy in general is sweeeet!
But seriously tho...dont give up on love sweetie... thas not the lesson God wanted to teach you by putting u n his life... Not that he told me or anything...lol but Im pretty confident that God wants everyone to find love. Maybe this jus happened so that you'd learn to be more aware of whats going on around u when it comes to relationships... xcept, ur prolly guna have to go thru a few relationships that may not work out bcuz u may get over aware, like paraniod aware... lol it happens to us all... u know how i am... but idk what made me like this. HA!
LOVE IS NOT FALSE!!! but i like the philosophy tho...
wow...like father like son?
and yes u do have SUCH a promising future and WOW... a waiting list on yo ayas!? lol we'll speak on that later!
yea... we will DEF speak on that later...
i never realized how much our situations were/are alike. i mean, of course its different because im still involved with him & see him sometimes, but everytime shit has happened between me and him i begin to realize that he's not who i thought he was. and if he is then he's just made some pretty huge mistakes and then lied about them...
but anyways, it's the nice ones that get you.
when you meet a guy who has a reputation of being a slut or an asshole then you know to watch out, and you dont let yourself fall as hard. or when you do fall and they lie to you or hurt you than you take it with a grain of salt and go on with your life because essentially you knew better. you expected it. but with the nice guys or the ones who fit the mold perfectly with chemistry and physical attraction theres nothing stopping you. you believe all the bullshit because after all, why would they lie to you? they're sweet, honest, and only want the best for you.
but even if that's so, theyre still guys. and all guys are assholes. lol aight im not gonna say alll thatt, but honestly im starting to believe that as long as guys are able to have more than one girl, they will. whether the two girls are in different states or on different campuses, they can't help themselves from talking to more than one girl if its possible. now, thats not to say that they dont honestly have feelings for both girls because i believe thats possible, but nobody wins in that case. or in any case where one person is talking to two people. EVER.
after my recent heartbreak, my veiw on love has certainly changed. im not gonna say i was/am in love with him, but ive realized that its going to be a LOT harder to fall in love and have it work out. like, damn near impossible. i mean, if somebody that i could have 5 months of bliss with is turning out/turned out to be an asshole how am i ever gonna find somebody to "fall in love" with.
aight, i could honestly go on forever but if i do im gonna get upset...laterr guhhh.
and remember, you dont even know my giirrrlllll.
being in love is hard. but in my opinion, it's worth it. at any given moment, you never know what's going to happen or what's happening at the time. it sucks when someone lies or when a person hurts you in general, but there's this motto that I'm tryna live by . . . never regret anything that made you smile . . . nothing's perfect. everyone screws up sometimes and in the process we hurt people we genuinely care about. I'm not defending anyone, I'm just saying that there were clearly good times, and don't let the bad parts be the ones that you focus on cuz in the end, that only hurts you.
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