Good Change. Bad Change.

Both unfamiliar with our surroundings, we tip toe through love land's
unknown. we were anxious to explore, yet cautiously avoiding routes of temptation
and lust.. attempting to lengthen our connection's innocence..
we proceed with caution into each other's lives.

as if "fragile, handle with care" was projected from my eyes, he gently lifts me above my doubts,
allowing him to receive the benefit of it.

destination unknown.

I smile, gazing above at the possiblities til a glimpse of reality shoots across the sky.
Leaning in to taste his promises I suddenly pull back.
Illegitimate concerns and fear enter my veins, spreading to the vessels of my heart.
"Put me down" I asked,
"Where did you think you were taking me? You're trying to take advantage
of my vulnerability, you see that I'm naive." though this was only my worries taking over me.
So I escaped back to the familiarity, structure, and repitition of pre-Love Land's life.
Fearing change of location.
Comfortable in my current being yet oblivious to opportunities outside of it.
Settling for okay, afraid extraordinary is non-existent.

He desires to search the land for change, for something less mechanic than the usual.
I tell him to continue his journey but he refuses to depart alone.
I tell him to find another co-pilot but he insists...

I must leave with him.

Now familiar with the prelude of our surroundings we walk a little less cautiously.
Taking one or two shortcuts down roads of infatuation and passion.
We return to the main road, attempting to regain our connection's innocence,
realizing we can never get it back.
now we're forced to proceed with a different form of caution
including contraceptives and control.
the "fragile, handle with care" fades to black as a new scene begins titled
"hurt me".
He lifts me above my doubts with his lies, allowing him to receive the best of me.
I smile again, gazing above at hollow possibilities til a glimpse of reality shoots across the sky.
I ignore the signs and lean in to taste his promises.
Legitimate concerns and fear didn't even brush my skin.
"Never put me down" I asked.
Giving him an open door to drop me, take advantage of my vulnerabilty.
Blinded by mislabeled love I blocked everything else out.
He was becoming my familiarity, structure, and repitition
and i feared change of location.
Comfortable with my current being yet oblivious to opportunities outside of him.
Settling for him, thinking there's nothing better.
Until the day he desires to search the land for change,
for something less mechanic than me.
I tell him I will go with him but he refuses to take me with him.
I tell him I'm the perfect co-pilot but he insists...

I must be left behind.

I fell from a high place into hologramic arms.
Leaving me landed, alone and bruised.


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